A lot of you have been asking me why I am uploading much less frequently, these days. I'm not sure I can put this into words very well, but I'll try.

Truth is, I have not been shooting much at all lately, except for the paid stuff I get...but I rarely post images from jobs I do.

My work you see here (and on my website) is the product of incredibly strong inspiration...and inspiration is something I have not had for a few months now.

I am frequently asked, "how do you get such an intimate look out of your models?"...and it always makes me want to explain the truth of the matter...that the person in the photo they are asking about is not some random "model" that happened in front of the camera that day. The intimacy is in the photo, because there is intimacy in my life with the person in that photo. When you see these images, you are essentially looking at a documentary of relationships I've had over the past 5 years. I know it perhaps sounds bad on the surface, but we are talking about (basically) 5 different relationships over the course of 5 years...about as long as I've been doing photography.

You can't get much more intimate than that.

I am not talking about every woman you see in my work, mind you...far from it, in fact. But there is a reason you see so many images of some of the same few women over and over in my work.

People always ask me why I only seem to have relationships with models. Simply put, the majority of the women I meet are models. Period. I imagine if I worked at an amusement park, I'd be dating the girl working at the ticket booth, or something like that...

The point is, from early-on, I have never really had to "figure out" how to get the person I am photographing to "appear comfortable". The comfort is already there, inherent in the relationship.

So...I am very fortunate that my formative years in photography have been spent with some of the best subjects ever...and as time went by, the camera just became another eye I would look at my partner with. In fact, I grew to prefer seeing my partner through the lens.

Of course, I have gone on to photograph all kinds of people, for all kinds of jobs...and every time I am doing a paid gig, I bring with me the early experience I gained whilst photographing loved-ones. There are so many valuable lessons contained in that. The MOST valuable one is this: you cannot ask the person you are photographing to "look comfortable", or to "relax". It is your job to make them that way...to put them into that space.

To be honest, I feel more like a Human Behaviourist than a photographer.

But I digress...

In my mind, I break up the photos I take into 2 categories: "paid work", and "personal work"...and the "personal work" is where my heart is. It fuels me like nothing else...I cannot even begin to describe the joy derived from it.

Portraits of such delicate intimacy can only be made with a human who has given their heart to you, and vice-versa...there is a layer of reality that is virtually impossible for me to achieve with anyone else. The smile that comes from her laughing at the dumb thing the cat did the other day. The disappointment in her eyes leftover from the bad news about how her brother cannot enter this country because his visa was denied. The "I love you" face that she only makes in my presence. The smile in her eyes the first thing in the morning. The "put the damn camera down and come sit with me" look at the end of the day...

It is this intimate connection that defines the word "muse", in my mind...and the mutual desire to create such images together. This is what I thrive off of...it makes me happier than anything else. I absofuckinlutely live for it.

But, I have no such person in my life right now...and I am taking very few photos these days, as a result.

Sure, I make myself get off my butt every once in a while and photograph someone...and I am generally happy with the results, but it is still pretty much a 'fabrication', in my mind.

I'll be back when love finds its way to me again...but in the meantime, I'll continue going through the archives, and post some images from happier days. There are a lot of them to share.

I just wanted to extend a sincere thank-you to all of you who watch my work here, and offer this (rather personal) bit of explanation to you, as a form of my appreciation.

~Jaime

[EDIT 09.28.09] - In response to everyone here, I would like to say that I am not "unhappy" in my life or anything like that...just not inspired to take photos right now. There is a difference between "lonely", and "alone". It's ok. It's a roller coaster, like always. And on the up-side: I am composing some pretty good music right now, as a result of my being alone. Looks like I might get this cd finished, after all If you want to hear some tracks from my last cd, you can do so here: www.myspace.com/jaimeibarra